Vlad The Inhaler: The Beginning 

Around the year 2000, I (The Enforcer) wrote The Beginning for a creative writing assignment for a class. It drew upon the lore we wrote on the cassette jackets after every jam back in 1994 through 1997 or so. 

Shortly after, I finished the true story of Vlad and its implosions, reformations and all that, written in the same fantasy style for the Vlad website and kept it up to date until probably about 2007 when the last version (and my favorite) of the website was created. The website stayed up even as the band was disbanded, as a fun site about the history of the band. 

In 2010, 2/3 of the band reformed, thus I created a new website more relevant to the current lineup, and with missing one of the co-founders of the band, and it’s vision, the story no longer seemed relevant. Since then, and unbeknownst to most, the site with the band’s history stayed online as a second website.  Due to the always evolving coding, vulnerabilities, securities and all that of the internet, both sites were severely due for a complete revamp, thus I am combining the two websites.

So, you can now read the story here!

Sidenote: I decided to do only very minimal editing to the story as it was historically written so many years ago. Don’t be offended!


The Beginning

Vlad The Inhaler is a being and force centuries old. A Vamphiric spawn of The Impaler, his actual age is only known by a select few. Though centuries old, he has only really made his presence known within the past few years. His mission in undead life is our souls, which he must save. His key to save the universe is music, and one other thing.

The Inhaler enlisted three minions that he knew would be his only loyal and suitable alies. As the drummer for his personal power trio he chose a Gladiator Of Pain, and granted him the name Vlad The Enforcer. For his guitarist he turned to The Justice League, and the title Vlad The Beholder was dubbed. For the final force he knew he needed someone of MurderXic proportions to sing. Only one man fit the description, and with the name Vlad The Whip, The Triad would be complete.

Vlad The Inhaler summoned the three forces to an apartment in Jersey City. It’s at this meeting that The Inhaler spoke of his prophesy to the Triad, and the Triad took an oath to the Inhaler, and accepted their new names. The next meeting brought forth the music, as the Power of The Inhaler and the Triad grew. Its at this point where the true power of the Cowbell was first realized.

The Third Ceremony to Vlad the Inhaler was the first taste of the travel of planes for the Triad. It was at this ceremony that they first made it to The Insanity Plane. The Triad circled on the edge of The Insanity Plane, but did not venture forth. They knew they were not ready to go in, because they were unsure of how they would get out. So they looked inside for some time, knowing that one day soon, they would return, and venture in.

With The Circle now functioning as one Unit , the mission was well underway. In the ceremony’s that followed Vlad The Inhaler grew in strength, and a small following of believers formed. Those closest to The Circle were christened with new names. Those followers further from the circle, came to be known as as Vlads Gypsys. On a few occasions, some of the closer followers of Vlad even joined in on the music. But in most of these cases, it just tainted the purity of The Circle.

It wasn’t until the Ninth official ceremony to Vlad The Inhaler, that the Triad really realized the powers they had come to possess. They knew that now was the time to test them out and expand them. The time had come to actually venture into The Insanity Plane, and spend some time there. Since they planned on going very deep into this unknown realm, and wanted to be able to actually grasp what they see and be able to talk about it outside of padded walls, they knew they would need an escape. An emergency “Key” in case they couldnt get out on their own accord. So they let a new person into the circle. A good keyboard player and a real scumbag all rolled into one. (Ya Heard? Yo Tommy, Ya Heard?). This five pounds of monkeycrap in a two pound bag came to be known as Vlad The Cretan. Unbeknownst to The Cretan, his real mission was to be sacrificed to The Insanity Plane as the Triad escaped on a magic carpet during the heavy cosmic techno jam.

The mission went exactly as planned, as did many other Ceremonys and missions that followed. But all of a sudden things started goin awry. missions started to fail. Then The word came down from The Inhaler. He said that The Gods were interfearing with us because they saw him as a threat. The Gods were trying to snuff out Vlad The Inhaler!! He was now going to lead his Triad in a War with the Gods. Another keyboardist was recruited and named Vlad The Incapable. He too was to be sacrificed. As the sacrifice was taking place, the Triad and The Inhaler himself were to muster all there powers and attack the Gods while traveling in and out of The Insanity Plane in the past, present and future. The Inhaler won the battle, but did he win the war?

Back To The Insanity Plane – The Search For Mean~o. After some time had passed since The War With The Gods, and with The Gods at bay (at least temporarily). The Triad ventured back into The Insanity Plane to find The Incapable. As they searched, they went deeper into the Insanity Plane then ever before, but now they had a new “key” to escape unscathed. The Circle created an anchor into the normal plane of existance, that they could follow back when necessary. This anchor was the infamouse Downward Spiral Riff. Though The Incapable was not found on this night, the Triad has mastered the travel in and out of The Insanity Plane using This new riff, instead of a sacrifice. So they knew they could continue the search at any time.

All seemed well as The Circle grew stronger. Together as well as individually they honed their powers. But then retribution was dealt. The Gods returned and attacked The Inhaler, and sent The Enforcer, The Whip and the Beholder in several directions. The Circle had been dismantled by The Gods, and The Inhaler was weak. Now seperated, the future of The Circle as a whole, is unknown. The future of The Circle as individuals is uncertain as well. As is The Inhalers fate too. All the forces are still out there, somewhere.

One question remains though, and probably always will, until the very end. Keeping in mind when there is A Circle of Three, there is usually one person that plays the role of the Good, one person the Nuetral, and one person the Evil. But whithin this circle, those roles are constantly changing. Who is truly the Good? Who is the true Evil? The Nuetral? Or maybe they are all the Good and its all a game. Possibly they are all the Evil, and its an even sicker game, or even a reality. And the question I am pondering to you is this: Is The Inhaler here to save the universe, or is he trying to convert everyone, and then destroy it? We will have to wait and see, but when we know, will there be anyone left?

Next Chapter –>